Puerto Rico Governor Calls Us All Crooks

What makes the Daily Show and other "fake-news" shows so effective,a and funny, is when they can draw on the assumptions of how current events are explained and reported.

Holy Freaky Assumptions Batman!

So lets take the implementation of a VAT (IVA in Spanish) in Puerto Rico.  What are the plan's basic assumptions?

The obvious ones are:

• The Puerto Rico economy is in a bad way, IMHO, which never really recovered from the global financial meltdown of 9/11.  Still crippled from that downturn, the banking meltdown of 2008 put our economy on life-support.
• We owe a shit load of money, and want to borrow more.
• People are fleeing Puerto Rico like rats jumping a ship, something the country already saw happen after the Great Depression; when millions of Puerto Ricans jumped the pond in search of a more prosperous life.
• There continues to be a large black and grey market within Puerto Rico.

The subtle assumptions are:

• To fix our economy we must reform our tax system.
• We need to fix our tax system, because our current tax laws are generating less income.
• Finally, we are not raising more tax income, because there are some who are evading the current system. 

So, with that logical sequence of assumptions, we can can come to one conclusion, that the Governor of Puerto Rico, Alejandro Garcia Padilla believes that Puerto Rico is full of liars and crooks who will do anything to keep from paying taxes.  And there you have it, comedy gold.  With the focus on this new assumption, let the joke begin, the IVA, I mean.

New HUD Grant Tempts Incumbant Mayors

And their off...

The United States Housing and Urban Development (HUD) agency has announced the prize money for a new corruption poolpote. HUD Deputy Secretary Roy A. Bernardi announced that the Commonwealth of Puerto Rico and 27 individual municipalities throughout the island will receive nearly $152 million to support community development and produce more affordable housing. HUD's annual funding will also assist individuals and families who might otherwise be living on the streets, and offer real housing solutions for individuals with HIV/AIDS.

HUD officials are worried though. They fear that the $152 million will help prop up failing municipal politicians and allow them to hand out lucrative contracts to their best friends and coincidentally enough, some of these politicians strongest political supporters.

"I think I'm supposed to say at this point," pondered Bernardi, "that this funding helps communities build better neighborhoods from the ground up." Bernardi continued, "But in a press conference with the mayors of the municipalities targeted to receive the money, the ravenous look upon their faces, the greedy ringing of their hands, and the drool running from their mouths has me a little concerned."

Bernardi expressed concern, "This money is supposed to be for improving infrastructure or producing more homes families can afford, but after the past corruption cases here in Puerto Rico with funds for AIDS and Education, I'm afraid that this money will not all be used for it's intended purpose, if you know what I mean.

When contacted, the mayors staunchly defended their fidicuary responsibility, praised The United States for their support and assistance, and then left the press conference chanting "Sovereignty for Puerto Rico, Sovereignty for Puerto Rico."

Flickr Creative Commons Contributor: Wrote